Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Slightly Masochistic

Wal-mart home waxing kit- $15

Trying to wax yourself with Wal-mart kit- $100,000,000 worth of aggravation and pain. UGH!

Salon price to wax eyebrows, lip, and both legs- $80.

Starter kit for salon quality wax kit that will last for at least a year- $45.00

Satisfaction of getting it right at home- $PRICELESS!!!$

HALLELUJAH!!!! It was the best feeling EVER! One rip and it WORKED!!! I am on my way to becoming a wax addict! Rip, rip,rip!! YES!!!!!! I am not kidding, this is practically orgasmic! Though, I may accidentally be missing an eyebrow soon...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Trained Assassins

One of my goals on my list of becoming a grownup is to become physically fit. This is VERY important to important that I think about it at least once a day. The problem with all this thinking is that it tires me out. So much so that by the time I finish thinking about it, I need a nap.

There are many reasons why I want to be physically fit. My first reason is obvious. Every time I look at a 50-year-old who just got out of open heart surgery at work I think about how much I want to be physically fit. Sometimes when I am eating something especially bad for me, I can feel my arteries in my heart clogging. This is not a good feeling...especially if one does not want to be a 50-year-old open heart surgery patient...which I do not. I like my heart and I want it to be all sorts of clog free and healthy.

Another reason I want to be physically fit is because I have LOTS of really cute clothes. And due to an increase of fluffiness on my part, I can not wear these really cute clothes anymore. This puts me in an especially bad mood on Sundays because I want to wear all of my really cute clothes. The rest of the days of the week I can ignore this lack of cute clothes by wearing scrubs and pajamas. Unfortunately neither of these attires would go over well at church.

My third reason is because I want to be able to outrun any potential attackers. Currently a potential attacker would take me down. But if I was in superb physical shape, I would be able to outrun the bastard. My most wonderful friend Val, who is my physical fitness hero, would be able to outrun any potential bastard attackers. I would have collapsed into an out of breath, sweaty ball of fluff. I want to be more like Val.

Yet another reason is because I secretly want to be a trained assassin. But my undying love of cookies and pajama pants are hindering this goal. I have a major girl crush on the character from NCIS, Ziva. She is pretty much the coolest person EVER. She is a trained assassin and she kicks major butt on the show. I get all sorts of jealous when she takes down all these big bad potential attackers with her mad skills. I want to be just like her...a tough trained assassin and maybe if I worked really hard, I could get myself a cool accent also.

See, I have four solid, concrete reasons to become more physically fit but I have a problem with laziness. As in I am lazy, lazy, lazy. I would much prefer to watch NCIS and eat an entire box of oreos instead of running on the treadmill or doing Tae-bo. I need to conquer my overwhelming laziness. I need to work on my trained assassin moves. I need to get on the treadmill. I need to do Tae-Bo. I need to take my dog running. But first, I need to take a nap.