Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I have a 60-year-old bladder

As you all know, I am about to turn 30. I have noticed things that have been changing as I age. Listen to me, I sound like I am 80. One drastic thing that has been changing is that I can not sleep through the night anymore without having to get up and go to the bathroom. Not ever. Usually at least twice a night. I blamed this on my age. I mean, I am not 20 anymore! This has been going on for at least a year, probably longer. Lately though, it has started to annoy me. I no longer have to be at work at 6am, so I get to sleep in longer, making my constant bathroom breaks interrupting my sleep a HUGE problem. I love to sleep. I do not love bathroom interruptions.

The other day I looked up overactive nighttime bladder problems on the internet. Come to find out one should be able to sleep through the night without getting up to go to the bathroom until you are 60! 60!!!! WHAT!!! I have been just laying down, letting my stupid bladder interfere with my sleeping schedule for way to many nights because I thought it was just what happened. NO!! My friends, we are only 30! We still get to sleep through the night!! This is unacceptable. According to the internet I either have diabetes or I am pregnant. Not likely. Better chance on the diabetes. But I WILL NOT have diabetes. I will will my body against that.

I have decided to take steps to figure out why I have to pee all night long. First idea...stop drinking so much at night. I drink A LOT at night. This may be my problem. Starting a few days ago, I do not drink anything after 7pm. I now wake up in the morning feeling like a dehydrated camel. The positive thing about this is that I drink a lot more fluids during the day. I drink like a mad women in the morning and then again around 5pm, when I realize I only have two more hours. I drink tons of water in preparation for my liquid fasting that starts at 7pm. It has only been two days and I have yet to make it though the night. But I figure my bladder just needs a few days to adjust. My sister thinks it is psychological. Chalk it up to one more crazy family problem. I would immediately go to the doctor and get tested for diabetes because I am a hypochondriac but my doctor's nurse thinks I am an idiot and so I won't go anymore. The idiot title could have come from me going to the doctors for my self prescribed blood clot in my leg. Which I don't have. Which is also another story.


Nat said...

I think that our bodies tend to get into habits, and since you've been in the habit of getting up every night for a year, your body thinks it needs to do that. The water fast after 7 pm should help you out, though. Good luck! Oh, and even if your doctor's nurse thinks you're crazy, you're paying her salary, so who cares what she thinks???

Valerie said...

Uhh, you aren't painting the prettiest picture of yourself here...let's talk more about how awesome and funny and nice and beautiful you are!